Dealing with a Sociopath
by stringcheesetheory
Summary: Johnlock drabbles filled with fluffy, slashy goodness!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone it's me again. ^.^ **

**I promise to update my other two stories later but for right now I thought I'd write a little Johnlock slashy goodness. **

**This is my first time writing stuff like this so please be patient. This will be a set of one-shot drabbles. Each chapter will be based on one word. If you have any requests or word suggestions feel free to tell me. I promise not to bite you.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Sherlock or any of its characters.**

**Rating: K – T (I will tell you the specific rating for each chapter)**

Chapter 1 – Duke (rated K)

"I don't believe you."

"What's there not to believe?"

"I seriously do not believe you and for the life of me, I don't know why I should?"

"I for one think you have little faith in me."

"So you mean to tell me that not only should I believe you I should also have faith that you are not lying?"

"Great deduction. However did you figure that one out?"

"Don't get smart with me or I'll put a head in the bathtub."

"Sherlock I am not lying, my grandmother seriously saved a duke of Germany with a butter knife."

"John, I'll believe that when Anderson manages to not make a stupid comment."

"Aw but Sherly…"

"Don't you Sherly me."

"Sherlock."

". . . ."

"I love you"

"I love you too."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – Bright (rated k)

"Sherlock?"

"Yes John?"

"You know I love you right?"

"Of course I do. I would have to be severely brain damaged not to know that."

And I deal with everything you do. I don't complain too much and I'm pretty patient."

"And that's what sets you apart from all the others my dear."

So I'm just going to stop beating around the bush and ask you."

"Ask me what?"

"Why the hell is your hair dyed bright pink?"

". . ."

"Sherlock?"

". . ."

"Sherlock?!"

"I was wondering how long it take you to notice."

". . ."

"John? John come back! I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist! John?!"

**So how was that one? Please review! ^.^**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- Liquor (Rated T for references to kissing and drunkenness)

**Pre- Johnlock**

The door of 221b opens and slams shut as two men stumble through the entryway. The shorter of the two was carrying the taller up the stairs.

"I swear to God Sherlock you are one heavy git." John grunted out as he climbed the steps.

" 'm n't heavy. You're j'st light weight." Sherlock slurred as he burst into a fit of drunken giggles.

"Sherlock hold still I'm trying to open the door."

"No. I d'nt w'nt to." Sherlock pouted as he leaned over John's back to sloppily whisper in his ear.

"John." Sherlock breathed into said appendage causing the shorter man to shiver as they moved through the flat.

"What is it Sherlock? We need to get you to bed." John sighed as he dragged the intoxicated detective to his room.

"You're so cute John. So, so cute and small but no one should think your weak. Because you're strong and loyal and oh so hot." The detective drawled, no longer slurring his words as the doctor lowered him down onto the bed.

"Sherlock, you're drunk and apparently delirious. Now go to bed." John whispered as he tried to peel the tall man's arms off him.

"I'm not delirious John. I'm being serious. I find you infinitely attractive and I'm too much of a coward to say it to your face without getting blackout drunk first." Sherlock confessed as he pulled John on top of him.

"Sherlock I-"

"John I love you." Sherlock blurted out before he grabbed the doctor by the face and snogged him senseless.

"I love you too." John gasped when they pulled apart.

**Aww! So cute! I hope you all liked this one.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4- Finish (Rated k)

"So as I was saying, it was-"

"the nursemaid who hid the jewels. Right Sherlock?"

"Yes of course, thank you John. The jewels were-"

"hidden in the cellar."

"And then she went on a ferry-"

"on the Thames to her mother's house."

"She then paid-"

"a sniper to kill the duchess."

"But said sniper-"

"fell asleep on the loo."

"John."

"Yes Sherlock?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

**Here's a short little chappie to keep you company. I promise to write a longer one next go round.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5-Bare (T for references of nudity and cuss words)

"What the hell do you think you're doing with that? Put my microscope down this instant! Anderson if you drop that jar of fingers I will replace them with yours! That is my skull so give it back right now! John they are taking the good china! Ugh! I HATE DRUG BUSTS!"

"*sigh* Oh Sherlock."

"John?"

"Yes Lestrade?"

"Why is Sherlock wearing that?"

"Wearing what?"

"That hat."

"Oh. You mean the fedora?"

"Yeah."

"He thinks it makes him look less professional. Says it might help people open up to him more at crime scenes."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Okay. So I have another question to ask."

"Ask away."

"Why is he wearing **only** a fedora?"

". . ."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6- Tote (Rated K+)

"Well I for one think this is quite fun. What do you think John?"

"Shut up Sherlock."

"Why do you insist on being in such a foul mood love?"

"Because it's five in the afternoon, we are in the heart of London, and oh I don't know, I'm **piggybacking** you! Me, a person who is both shorter and smaller than you! And you've got me toting you all over the place because you twisted your ankle in the bloody Mortuary!"

"Why John look at you, you're absolutely seething right now. That cannot be good for your health."

"Are you even listening to me right now?! We look like a bloody side show you git and for god's sake, you could touch your feet to the damn ground if you wanted to!"

"John."

". . ."

"John don't be childish."

". . ."

"Thank you for carrying me. I love you."

"You're welcome and I'm sorry. I love you too."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7- Purr (rated K)

"John!"

"What?"

'I'm bored!"

"Well tough luck for you then."

"Entertain me!"

"Sherlock I'm busy!"

"Entertain me **now**!"

"Okay bossy. What do you want me to do about it?"

"Pet me."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Pet me."

"And where would you like to be pet your lordship?"

"Stroke my ego. And I mean that in the literal sense John so don't look at me like that."

"Oh alright. Come put your head in my lap Sherkitty."

"Real funny now less talk more stroke."

"Ok, ok."

". . ."

"Sherlock?"

"mmmmm yes John?"

"You're purring."

**So how was that one? Please review.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8- Ninja (Rated K for adorable silliness)

"Sherlock? What the heck are you wearing?"

"I am a Ninja."

"Why are you a ninja?"

"Stealth."

"Stealth?"

"Yes. Ninjas are stealthy."

"Ok. Why are you crouched in the middle of the living room if you're being stealthy?"

"I'm hiding in plain sight."

"Sherlock…."

"John look at the calendar and tell me the date."

"It's April 1st."

"Yes. Yes it is."

". . ."

"Ow! Just because I got you good does not warrant an attack on my person with a cookbook!"

"Oh shut it!"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9- Crayon (rated k for parentlock)

*Slam* "Sherlock! I'm home with Hamish and we have some serious talking to do!"

"Why yes of course. What do we need to talk with Hamish about?"

"We are talking to each other not to Hamish. Hamish go to your room."

"Yes daddy."

"Sherlock I need to talk to you."

"But my exp-"

"NOW!"

"Yes dear."

"Where were you?"

"What?"

"Where were you?!"

"I was at a case John, I still do those."

"I texted you half an hour ago you git! I had to have a conference with Hamish's teacher ."

"Why? Did Hamish get into a fight?"

"No she wanted to talk about his home life because today they were doing a project in class called family table."

"And? What did he draw?"

"He drew the periodic table in green crayon."

". . . . heh."

"Stop laughing it's not funny!"


End file.
